Welcome to the Hall of Shame, my first-ever Bottom 5 Instant Noodles list. After reviewing hundreds of products, I’ve suffered through the bland, the boring, and the downright offensive so you don’t have to. Unless you are morbidly curious, you should stay away from these five varieties.
• #5: Mike’s Mighty Good Craft Ramen (Chicken Cup): This is the same chicken ramen cup sold at Trader Joe’s, and it is the most boring cup of chicken ramen I’ve ever had. Despite an “insanely rich”-looking broth consistency, it is completely under-seasoned. Between the bland broth, weird noodles, and an insulting portion size for over $3, it’s an egregious waste of money.
• #4: Lotus Foods Forbidden Rice (White Miso Soup): If you are gluten-free and love miso, stay away. While the noodles are actually okay, the broth tastes like unsalted dirt. They managed to screw up a simple mushroom and miso base; there is no umami to speak of, and the powdered mushrooms taste more like soil than food.
• #3: Snapdragon Miso Cup Ramen: It blows my mind when people praise Snapdragon on Reddit. This miso variety is the most flavorless ramen I have ever encountered; it literally tastes like ginger water when you follow the instructions. Mediocre noodles, no flavor, and an uninspired vegetable medley – I wouldn’t even buy this on clearance.
• #2: Ramen Talk Pepper Crispy Pork Noodles: This was my biggest disappointment because I love Ramen Talk’s other products. While the noodles are actually incredible, the multiple sauce packets clash terribly, combining a Tex-Mex style barbecue flavor profile with a dandan-like Sichuan peppercorn sesame sauce. To add insult to injury, the crispy pork bits were hard as a rock, and I ultimately found the whole thing inedible and threw it in the trash.
• #1: Trader Joe’s Garlic Sauce Thai Noodles: I love garlic, but this stunk up my house for hours with a rancid, putrid chemical stench. It smells like the harsh preservatives found in the cheapest pre-processed jars of chopped garlic rather than anything edible. This is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever smelled or eaten as of the filming of this list. Trust me: stay away for your own good.
